Where the Sane Should Fear to Tread

Therapy Sessions on File


Saturday, December 31, 2005 at 1030pm
Happy New Year and may 2006 be good to y'all.

TSC offers up some unbelievable links. Here's the latest.

I weep for the GW fandom at The Pit. I don't recall that much crap posted in the GW category when I was still active. I'm not talking premise or plot (or the lack thereof) - those sucked just as much before. No, I mean what seems like a total disregard of such things as spelling, punctuation, tenses... Oh Gods, tenses! One paragraph should not shift between past and present tense TEN FUCKING TIMES! Time to head back to Y!Groups and see if they've degenerated too (oh please don't have!).

Ya know, after perusing a shit-load of public archives (fic addict, I admit it) I'll say this for the Pit - I like their review set up. I like the fact a signed review cannot be deleted by the author. I imagine there are problems with obvious flame-spam (or revenge-flame-spam) but reviews pointing out problems (plot, spelling, whatever) can't be removed because the author only wants fluffy, sparkly, ass-kissing reviews showing. A good example of the latter is MM.O and AFF. At MM.O, I think you still need Admin assistance (after the review-shit with a BNF/Admin there, I haven't been back). Over on AFF, no Admin assistance is needed and reviews can be deleted whether the reviewer was signed in or not. That's just wrong.

*snorts with laughter* Oh, dear gods... the QaF fandom goes *splooge* once again. The 2005 QAF!Badfic Awards should be dominated by the hack author mentioned in the post. Look forward to seeing who wins the contest.

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Thursday, December 29, 2005
Found this in my office Inbox:

Dear [name removed],

We have decided to pay Mr [name removed]'s medical expenses in advance by bank transfer. Kindly provide us with your bank details. Credit cards are not popular here.


Dr [name removed]

Riiiight... just how dumb do you think we are?

The gentleman in question is, supposedly, coming from a certain country (think 4-1-9 and fraud); appointments have been made, letters sent, etc. Only, after much independent research, I highly doubt the gent will be issued a travel visa. Given the country of origin (and all of the known scam attempts from this country - more than just e-mail let me tell you! I've been having great fun digging up all sorts of creative scams and such.) how likely is it I'm going to so much as tell this person the name of the bank, much less any details? If Boss-man wants any details released he can do it himself and start looking for a new Admin shortly thereafter.

My response, pending final word from Boss-man, will be as follows:

Dear Dr. [name removed],

Thank you for your communication dated [date removed].

We do not conduct out-of-country financial business through bank transfers. Further, the final cost will not be known until the work has been completed. Our previous communications outlined this and provided you with an estimate of the final costs, but not a confirmed amount.

If payment by Credit Card is not possible, then Mr. [name removed] can still pay by cash (Canadian funds only) at the time he receives the [name of device removed].

Thank you,

[standard e-mail closing]

Not much happening on- or off-line. Not much one can do when the weather sucks and there's no car. Apart from losing brain cells at a rapid rate. I swear I can actually feel my brain shrinking from lack of use/stimulation/adult thoughts. By the time I get to the 'puter in the evening (forget it during the day), the most intellectual thing I can handle is a few community LJ's and my e-mail. Neurons and synapses are firing tonight for the simple reason that I've forced them to write head-fic and play with the household budget all day.

Hands down, the most fun and versatile item Squirmy received for Xmas was - a box of glow-in-the-dark Spongebob band-aids. Actually, they're not 'band-aids' but 'stickers', at least according to my son - who emphatically corrects mommy if she slips and calls them band-aids. The 'stickers' have been used, primarily with the precious Thomas trains.

The stickers started off on the floor by themselves, then the trains were added on top of said stickers. Eventually, dear son discovered the stickers could be placed ON the trains. There are no band-aids stickers left 'untrained'.

Tonight, while someone was supposed to be sleeping, said someone discovered the stickers could be used on his face. Evidenced by this picture and this one. Despite the lateness of the hour and the escape from bed, laughter on mommy's part could not be contained.

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Monday, December 26, 2005 at 921pm
Looking for a new euphemism for 'penis'? Well, don't pass up a trip to Woody's World of Penis Euphemisms! My personal favorites include Anal Spear, Beaver Cleaver and Purple Avenger. Now, where are my grade-D plot-bunnies...

Another Xmas down and done. His majesty did pretty good, though much of the gift and Santa thing is still whizzing over his head. He's got most of the concepts, just not the understanding that goes along with it all. Even so, 'Santa' was pretty good to the Squirmy one. Newer pictures have finally been posted (please stop beating me now, H-darling) and I'm hoping to have the family stuff Sis and I had done up by tomorrow. Missing one disc of opening presents and I'm hoping it will turn up at some point.

Xmas morning saw breakfast at my house, complete with M&D and Nurse-girl & Geek-boy. Squirmy greatly enjoyed his Auntie, to the point where Mommy was chopped liver (no shit! It was incredible). I thought it was just my Sis that had this effect on Squirmy but nope - hubby's sister holds the same special Auntie-power!

It looked like some moron tried to break into Dad's van on Xmas morning. A key was broken off in one of the door locks and the read window smashed. Oddly, it looked like the window was smashed from the inside, at least that's what hubby and Geek-boy said. Odder still, this happened right in front of the house and no one heard a thing.

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Friday, December 23, 2005 at 831pm
Dear Mr. Scratch-and-Win,

I will no longer discuss computer-related anything with you. You had a problem, I gave you two programs to help rid your system of the problem and protect it was cleaned. I've no idea if you actually followed my advice or not, since you went out and bought a product I told you was no longer considered decent (by my own experience and by techs who work with this shit everyday). I'm glad it solved the problem. Had you tried the programs I suggested, and called me if you had questions, you could have saved the money and had the whole cleaning/protection thing for free.

And, when I sent you a link to an article that outlined one of the problems with the product you purchased, you snarked back at me. Whether your comments were meant to be humorous or not, you pissed me off. So screw you and your 'threats' of no fudge. Ya know what? I don't care and will gleefully laugh at you the next time something happens. And it will happen; I know the types of sites you visit and can pretty much guarantee you've got enough spy/mal/ad-ware on the system to choke a rhino.

No luv to you!

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Tuesday, December 20, 2005
New printer time once again. No more ink jet, monochrome laser this time around. Narrowed down to a Lexmark and Brother... if I can scrape up some cash. Estimate close to two-hundred once the taxes clear *sigh*.

*claws at eyes* Never, nevernevernever, venture into the Anime - Misc section at The Pit.

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Ya, ya... RP's are crack-central, the meth of fanfic, an abomination, a... fuck it. I like 'em occassionally - IF they're well written, IF I can really picture it. After all, there are worse things floating around in fandom. If you can't figure out what's worse, you haven't been in long enough.
Tuesday, December 20, 2005 at 751pm
Dear Asshole,

Ya know, I really don't give a rats ass if I was rude to you or not. Frankly, you're a waste of oxygen and public assistance money. We have, in the past, bent over backwards to accommodate you and what happened? Repeated no-shows and short-notice cancellations is what happened. The only reason we agreed to see you today was because the specialist in Vancouver was swayed by your doctor and begged then us to see you too. Not happening again no matter how much you whine. Yes, whine. Have you ever listened to yourself? Christ man, grow up, will ya? I realize the drugs have fried that sorry excuse you call a brain, but christ-on-a-cracker act somewhere close to your age, will ya?

I will gleefully notify your social worker that you were and hour-and-a-half late for your appointment. There was no need for SS to pay for a hotel when you could have easily caught the ferry that morning (based on the time you dragged your sorry drug-ridden ass into our office). Ya, you showed up - big fucking deal. You pretty much ensured you won't be getting another appointment, and I'll make sure to mention that to your doctor when I send him a report. SS can save a ton of money by shipping you to 'the other place'.

You, lowest form of life, are a loser of the first degree. You've earned that classification by, in addition to the above, having a massive mother of a restriction on your billing account. It's reserved for the largest of the large fuckwads and is pain-in-the-ass to deal with.

No love and hoping you drop dead in the New Year.

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Friday, December 16, 2005 at 1020pm
My brain has exploded, eyeballs fused and stomach turn itself inside out. Why? Thomas the Tank Engine slash. Yes, you read that right. Some twisted person has written slash involving TRAINS! There is no brain-bleach strong enough to rid me of the encounter.

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Sunday, December 11, 2005 at 1022pm
If one of the Top 10 weirdest USB drives doesn't tempt you, please seek professional help.

I want auto-clean floors.

Except to piddle and brief foray for food, I've had the glorious gift of sitting in front of my 'puter all damn day! Hubby and Squirmy left early this morning to visit the iL's and the vacuuming/floor washing was done by noon and my ass parked in the 'puter chair shortly after that. Of course, now my ass is sore, lower back is bitching and there's sandpaper shoved in my eyes. I've enjoyed this, but how in the hell did I do it on a regular basis before Squirmy came along?
Friday, December 9, 2005 at 1019pm
I swear, I'm not making any of this up...

Tired of bruised banana's? Get a Banana Bunker! Condoms for banana's... please stop the planet, I'd like to get off now.

The Internet is for...? Come on, y'all know what the modern internet is for - (click me to find out) <= WS unless the speakers are on.

Don't Throw a Brick Straight Up: A Stupid Person's Guide to Life is to be read by one and all. A few highlights to tempt you - "The stuff on the bottom of your shoe is not for internal consumption." "Don't sled down hills with interstates at the bottom." Sadly, I can think of a couple people who should read this guide and take notes.

When writing your next smut-fic, be sure to check out the Dictionary of Obscure Sexual Terms. Actually, don't wait that long, read it NOW. Do not - I repeat, DO NOT - have anything in your mouth at the time, and make sure your ass is firmly seated on the chair. Small sample - "Arabian Goggles: A "seldom-seen" maneuver when you put your testicles over her eye sockets while getting head. (Picture it: ass on forehead) It may be anatomically impossible, but what the fuck else is new." *snort* It's not like 'anatomically possible' and 'fanfiction' even belong in the same sentence anyway.

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Sunday, December 4, 2005 at 1052pm
Man Tapes Friend Who Died Having Sex With Horse. I, um... *places eyes and brain back in head, picks jaw up off floor* Okay, moving on now.

Trojan Vibrating Ring. There's just waaay too many comments (none clean or unsarcastic) waiting to be made. Be sure to read the "How to Use" and "FAQ" sections.

Is there a BNF who's not bat-shit, not high on themselves, and can take a discouraging word? The latest one (at least for me since I've fallen behind once again) - Sueric - is tied with Wankfyre (or however you spell that fucktard's name) for "Adult most NOT acting like an adult and plain fucking nuts." Somewhere I've got links if anyone wants 'em. Just the other day, I was lamenting the fact I've been on the fringes of fandom too long again and then WHAM!, I'm reminded why the fringes are a good place to be.

Wish I could find a used 'puter store in PoMo, Coq, PoCo - hell, even PM or Maple would do. Really, really don't want to drive into Vancouver on a weekend in December just to poke around in the one used store I know of. *sigh* Why, oh why, did YVR close up shop?

And as long as I'm wishing, I wish I could find a one- or two-piece rain-suit for Squirmy. There is a difference between a rain-suit and a snowsuit - a rain-suit is not thick and/or rated to x-below zero. Had some brain-deficient person in one store tell me a rain-suit is the same thing as a snowsuit (after all, they're both waterproof). Uhuh, and a spoon is the same thing as a knife. Do have word of a two-piece rain-suit that Lab-boy found... on his side of the water. *sigh* The Quay in North Van is not a place I really want to venture to on a Saturday in December either. Maybe I can convince hubby to drive and Squirmy can go visit his grandparents or an auntie.

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Friday, December 2, 2005 at 1047pm
Wow, just when I thought I'd seen/read some pretty stupid stuff, this is posted to the TS LJ. I swear, if breathing were not an autonomic function, the human race would have died out years ago.

Mr. Squirmy's latest 'advancement' is changing his own diaper (every parent's dream). Only, he can't get the new diaper on. Hubby came upstairs in the morning to find Squirmy laying on his bed, old diaper stripped off and on the floor, and the new diaper (still folded up) held over his weenie. "Change diaper, daddy," a proud Squirmy said. Gods, if that had been me, I would have done internal damage trying not to laugh.

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