Where the Sane Should Fear to Tread

Therapy Sessions on File


01/27/03 at 705pm
I don't care if it means I must glue my eyelids open, I am bloody well staying up and awake to watch QAF tonight. Yes, they are still in repeats (insert a very frustrated scream here) but I need my QAF fix. Shit, does that sound like a junkie, or what? Bite me.

Actually found a number of fics to read today. One WK still in progress, one YnM written by a GW author I like, and two Gravi's both still in progress. Served as a reminder (more like kick in the ass) I really need to get back to the Wanderings section. There are YnM and Gravi sections that got started but not completed. Damn... need more hours in a day (and more consciousness).

Getting not so subtle reminders the parasite needs food. Pushy kid and he's not even born yet.
01/26/03 at 1115am
The ultrasound was a bust. Not enough fluid in my bladder. The tech called it 'empty' even though if he pressed much harder I was going to pee myself. After rescheduling, I got to thinking and have decided to fuck the exam. This ultrasound is to determine structural abnormalities (cleft palate, possible Down's indications) and organ development. The major abnormalities have already been ruled out by the amnio and, frankly, I don't want to know if there are structural problems. Knowing the child I'm carrying has a 'deformity' would impact the rest of my pregnancy and influence my entire attitude toward him. And at this point, I no longer have the strength to terminate. So unless there is some other cause for concern (now and down the road) I am not having another ultrasound.

Strange how some times I really don't notice what an opinionated bitch my mother can be, and other times I catch right from the first word out of her mouth. I honestly don't know why my parents are still married, never mind living in the same house.

Today is the day the smaller fish tank gets stripped. Oh Joy! Guess I should get off the 'puter and start the much anticipated task before hubby wears a hole in the floor from his pacing. He wants to get the process started NOW. Ick.
01/25/03 at 1128am
Killing time until I have to head out to my ultrasound appointment. *snort* I'm in my fourth month, have a gut that's huge (and will only get bigger) and I still have to drink Four large glasses of water? Give me a fucking break. I end up in the bathroom just from looking at a glass of water; one glass and we'll be stopping every five miles for a potty break. Frankly, they can kiss my ass if I'm not 'full enough'. I refuse to add to my discomfort that much.

Broke down and bought a pair of maternity pants. At least the 'winter' stock was on sale and I didn't break the bank buying a single pair of black dress pants. Where is written that pregnant women must dress like a frump? I swear, a good ninety percent of the clothing I looked at was awful - in terms of fabric, style and colors. I still need some maternity shirts so the hunt is starting for some decent looking tops.

Way behind on things site related. The only items I've really managed to keep up on are ones sent to me (fic parts, etc). Haven't had much time to surf for new stuff, make new stuff... mainly because I've been falling asleep as soon as dinner is done with. And looking for stuff while I'm at work is hard to do when the paper-bunnies explode on your desk. Sheesh, I couldn't even see the laptop on the desk there's been so much crap waiting to be dealt with. I will be make a real effort to get myself back to site stuff a.s.a.p.

And the tap from hubby has come - time to go. *blows a raspberry*
01/17/03 at 1055pm
Saw the doctor on the sixteenth. Didn't expect him to have the full report on the amnio, but he did. And it's all good news! No spina bifida, no downs, and I'm having a boy! YES!!

All the important people have been notified. Both sets of parents are beyond thrilled. My mother-in-law started knitting stuff almost right away. My sister's words were... "can I be excited now?' She was getting a little ticked that I wasn't showing any excitement - but understood now - and found it hard to hold her own excitement in check. Picking up her maternity clothes this weekend; none of my clothes fit anymore.

The in-laws finally sold their house and are moving to the Island in March. We - all the kids - need to get over before the move and pick up the furniture they are not taking to the new place. Only thing I know for sure we are getting is and old bedroom suite. It's from the Thirties, and beautiful. The dresser and chest-of-drawers are Waterfall; can't remember what the headboard and footboard look like, but they're probably the same design. My mother will shit; she's an old furniture junkie. This works out well since the suite will be used in the new kid's room.

Going to finish watching a special Bee Gee's biography then hit the sack.
Certain fic-things must go in waves. I can't remember the last time I saw so many OC/self-insert fics. Blech!
01/10/03 at 819pm
I know why I torture myself by going to FF.N - I'm desperate for fics. Not just any fics, and not the usual ones. Thanks to a dear friend (and one of my favorite authors, even if she is a bit slow) I'm now hooked on Saiyuki fics. Thank you so much, ACL.

Since there aren't many private Saiyuki fiction archives - still searching, but so far it's not looking promising - I ended up on FF.N for a quick fix. So far, I'm not finding much to read because spelling errors in summaries dissuade me from clicking on the fic.

chaptured - what is this word supposed to be? Captured, maybe? I actually did try reading a couple of this author's fics, but he/she hasn't yet learned that each speaker should have his/her own line. Different speakers are lumped into the same paragraph rendering the fic difficult to follow.

seprated - could put this down to a slip of the finger and missing the required 'a', but it should have been proofed first.

Relective - same as above.

Unfinished fics also run rampant for this anime. Which is really annoying since there are at least three really good fics I'd kill to read more of but the author has abandoned. Somehow, I don't think writing the author will help much. It's really rare an author will finish a fic he/she hasn't touched in over a year.

Off to hunt and hopefully read!
01/09/03 at 1053pm
Tonight's episode of the TV show ER should have come with a warning for pregnant woman. One of the main characters suffered a miscarriage at fourteen weeks. That's just three weeks behind me. I did not need to see that, yet I couldn't turn away. First thing I want after the results of the amnio, and provided that turns out all right, is to hear the heartbeat again. Scared? You bet!

A writer I respect nominated one of my fics for a contest. I should be elated, and I am but only because someone likes one of my fics enough to do that. I accepted the nomination, but only because of who nominated it. It's unfortunate, but I have little respect for one of the people who runs the site the contest is taking place on.
01/07/03 at 724pm
My concentration on things like web-work, fics, and a dozen other small areas absolutely sucks right now. So many things are on hold until test results come in. If it weren't for the routine of work, and the fabulous back-log of paperwork, I'd be locked up in a room with rubber wallpaper. So until I know how this section of my life is going to play out, projects requiring a brain are on hold.

Some people do not, or cannot, grasp that they are not the center of the fucking world. There are few clients I truly despise, and one more was added to that list today. Or rather, the patient's mother was. Actually, I have a living example of the type of person/parent I NEVER want to be. She's the type that will probably stand over her son's marriage bed telling him how he could improve sex with his new wife, offer pointers and probably a commentary. She got all pissed off at having to pay for an adjustment to her son's prosthesis when the last ocularist didn't charge her. Well honey, by throwing a cheque at me, along with the lovely facial expression you graced me with, you can now kiss my ass for anything you want above and beyond the most basic of service. And by the way, your shit does stink, sweetie.

Since my brain likes thoughtless tasks, I cleaned up some hard drives tonight. I am so glad I started keeping a list of everything. Some files were duplicated, but with a different name. Identifying some of the files that hadn't been renamed would have been a nightmare if I didn't have the file sizes and what disc the original was burnt on to.

Switched around the selection for WinMX, and moved some stuff onto CD. Reclaimed almost five gig on one machine, and three on another. Not to say the three gig wasn't immediately used up again when I added new files to the WinMX mix.

And speaking of WinMX... I am currently talking to a wonderful user who is trading me her copy of Kizuna 3 SUBBED! Someone on an ML she belongs to subbed it, and it was only offered for download for a very short time. Honey, take what you want from me... just trade me that file! And another lovely user started up my request for a Rick Springfield video. Only been trying for nearly four weeks to get Bop 'Til You Drop. Lady_Albatou and The_Doodler are tops in my book.
01/05/03 at 724pm
Happy New Year! May '03 have less crap in it the last three years have had!

Had the amnio on the second. The proceedure was actually pretty cool. Yeah, it's not the most comfortable thing in the world, but if you can relax the muscles enough, it hardly hurts. And the high-res ultrasound is enthralling. I spent the entire procedure talking to the ultrasound tech. Results take two to three weeks. I'll be insane long before that.