Where the Sane Should Fear to Tread

Therapy Sessions on File


12/31/02 at 1019pm
*falls over* It took all day, but I did it. 'It' being my stash of saved-up links for WK fics. Still need to find a few fics that I remember but have no link for. Damn... wish I could remember either the title or author name.

The TV Guide is way off for today. Two movies listed weren't on, and Final Waltz was supposed to start at ten, but isn't showing until midnight. Crap. I'm sure I can entertain myself until then. There's a Third Watch marathon on, Close Encounters is still playing, and Flesh Gordon just started. *snicker* It's such a stupid movie, really it is. So stupid you can't help but watch it... for a while... like five minutes and then the dialogue makes your brain hurt. And Dale Arden's tits are not that great, nor is there enough cock in it. I'm gone.
12/30/02 at 1059pm
I want smut. Hot, steamy, squirm-in-my-seat, smut. Brian/Justin, Schu/Yoji, Yoji/Ran... I'm really not terribly picky which of my preferred pairings it is. Of course, when you're looking for something, you never find it... or the link is dead. I give up.
12/29/02 at 1020pm
Bloody fucking bitching hell! I found a file on the 'puter with a gut-load of fic-links. Has to be over two hundred covering GW and WK, twenty-five devoted to my favorite pairing of Schuldig and Yoji. Care to guess how many actually work? I'll tell you - nine! That's it, nine out of twenty-five. FUCK! My happy, excited mood has declined to one of severe pissed off. It's bloody hard to find Schu/Yoji fics to begin with, and to lose so many... Do I dare check the rest of the links in the file? *stomps off*
12/29/02 at 803pm
The house needs a good vacuum, the kitchen table needs digging out, and my office needs a stick of dynamite. But the GRP is virtually done, and the WK site is totally revamped.

I have no idea where the sudden creative spurt came from - and I'm not going to question it. For all I know, the WK site looks like shit on other computers. It looks pretty spiffy on mine (even on the crap monitor) so it's staying as is. Even got some new content on it too. Of course, other web-related things have been left to gather dust. The GW site needs some attention, but not tonight if I can help it.

One of my e-mail accounts received some odd 'bounced' e-mails. Rejected by AOL, two e-mails came back undeliverable. I call them odd because I never sent e-mail to the two addresses indicated. Could these be the result of one of those viruses that spoof the sender? Who the hell knows, but it's got me curious.

So with a movie loaded in the machine - Fantastic Voyage - and a desire for some steamy Brian/Justin fiction, I'm going surfing!
12/26/02 at 1002pm
I do not want to see food of any kind for at least a week. Not possible, but I can wish it. I'm still stuffed from Xmas dinner... dinner, dessert, snacks, munchies... *burp*

Spent this glorious Boxing Day on the puter. Most of the Gatch updates are done and new screen caps from GW are ready to roll. I love the new toy to bits. The grabs are not crystal clear - that's because of the vid card in this machine - but they are so much better than the some of the others. There's a stack of discs and tapes stacked next to me just waiting their turn in the machine.

New 'puter parts arrived from back east - thanks Trafalga! Now I need to either build a new machine or rip apart hubby's. I'm voting new machine since I firmly believe hubby's his cursed. Maybe a new one would like me better. There's a second vid card included with all the new stuff that, I assume, is meant to go in my main machine. Last time I tried to upgrade the vid card in this machine, I ended up doing the dreaded 'format c:'. For whatever reason, this machine despises having it's daughter boards touched. I'll wait for Trafalga to make a trip out here... or until I can back everything up that's on the drive.

Time to hit the sack. My stomach is still rumbling from all the food the last few days.
12/25/02 at 740am
Christmas morning is soooo sweet, but not as sweet as my hubby. My 'big' gift this year... a VCR/DVD combo for my office. Actually, it's from the cats. Uhuh, right. They hit the mall, signed the credit card receipt with little paw prints, carried it home on their furry backs... *snort*

It took a bit to figure out how to hook the sucker up to my computer. The connections are not the same as the one I previously hooked a unit up to, and most of my parts are a tad on the ancient side (barely three years old and all ready a lot of the cards are old *rolls eyes*). The audio connection between the TV card and the sound hard has to be disconnected in favor of the VCR/DVD unit each time I want to use it, but shit, that's a small thing to crawl under the desk for. There has to be a way to keep everything connected - that's what hubby and Trafalga are for. Between those two, they'll figure something out.

So here I sit, surfing the net and typing docs... and watching Blazing Saddles. Fuck me! No more leaving the computer to watch movies. No more downloading vid files to do simple screen grabs (and spending hours 'touching them up'). The screen grabs look fabulous coming straight off the player. And there's a big stack of DVD's sitting beside me awaiting their turn to be grabbed.

Crap, can't sit here and play. Still need to put together dessert for tonight, and shower, and gather together everything to take up to the folks. Now entertaining bets on what will be forgotten and someone will have to return for.
12/22/02 at 908pm
Doctor! Doctor! My eyes have turned square! Nearly seven hours to update 2 full pages and make a dozen minor changes to four others. And just this morning I was asking myself why I hadn't touched the GRP in a while. Now I know.

Didn't feel like doing much yesterday, once I got done with all my errands. So while hubby played on his computer, I hogged the DVD player and the big TV. Six hours of anime and movies made for such a nice afternoon and evening.

Must get some sleep tonight if I want to get up early tomorrow. Need to hit the local booze store and I'd like to be there before the line up starts. Somehow, I doubt that will happen.
12/16/02 at 856pm
Things were made a little more real for me today. I heard a heartbeat, one hundred and forty-two beats a minute to be precise.

I know I'm preggers, I've known for how long now? But hearing that heartbeat... I've been trying to keep myself separated a bit, try not to get too attached. Jezzus, I know that sounds cold and horrid, but with the prospect of termination in the near future this somewhat detachment has been my way of preparing myself just in case. And that detachment has been, I fear, blown to hell. I just want this amnio over with, done, results in. I don't know what I wish the results to be - inside I'm going in a hundred directions, doubting myself, reanalyzing every thought, trying like crazy to keep from either crying myself unconscious or laughing hysterically.

On a more humorous note, I weigh one hundred and forty-one pounds. *snort* Ya, this explains why my pants are not fitting. Every time I sit down, it feels like a seam should be popping. It's become rather comical at work, watching the 'expanding office manager'. By the time the office reopens in January, I'm going to need a new pair of dress pants. Sure hope my sister hasn't pitched her maternity clothes yet.

A gentleman I've done some work for in the past e-mailed me, asking for a minor change to be made to his web site. No problem, I don't even charge him for stuff this small and simple. Pity the changes couldn't be uploaded. Why? It took me almost an hour to figure it out (and if I'd tried the last thing first, it would have been five minutes - fuck!). The domain name expired, and no one renewed it. For fuck's sake! There would have been notices sent, either electronically or by paper means. Anyway, the situation has been resolved and the site should be back up in the next twenty-four to thirty-six hours. Now, if I could only get him to ask for a redesign of the site...
12/16/02 at 953pm
I'd like to say I hate WinMX, but I can't. It's my lack of control around it I hate. If the computer it's installed on is turned on, I drive myself bug-shit until the program is online. And then spend the next ten to forty-eight hours trying to shut it off. Just one more file, just one more search... I'm going to uninstall the fucking thing soon.

Rescued my nephew from a fate worse than death (in his opinion) this weekend. He all but begged us to stay overnight while his younger sister had her birthday sleep-over. Being in a house with three girls who all like him to varying degrees really didn't thrill him. How could we say no? Besides, it builds up babysitting points with my sister *snickers*

My father continues to surprise the hell out of me. We were discussing child-care once I go back to work after the baby is born, the benefits of day care versus live in/out help, etc. He made some comment about mom, and I had to tell him that I really don't want mom looking after the baby. Besides, there is no way she could be up and over at my place by seven in the morning. Dad, however, could. Huh? I swear, he made me offer of coming out to the house and looking after the baby until hubby gets home from work in the early afternoon. I'm... stunned. It's not something I would have ever asked of my father, and I think he knows it. I think that bugs him too. Rarely have I ever asked my folks for anything, whereas my sister has. Granted she needed help more than me and I don't have my nose out of joint at all. Hell, I've helped her out too, more than once. But I've really tried to be independent of my folks, and not always for the right reasons. It all ties back to the problems I've had with my mother, and both dad and I know it. Anyway, once I find out it this baby is a keeper, I'll talk to dad about his offer again. Personally, I would love it and I know hubby would too.

Keep finding more food to avoid while preggers. Certain spices in some Malaysian dishes (the ones I love) are giving me bad heartburn. And bacon is a real no-no. Death would be better than going through that again. I really can't believe the amount of food I need to consume. I've gone from one-and-a-half meals a day to four to five. And I'm not gaining much weight, just a couple pounds. Of course, stress has got to playing a roll here - Xmas, amnio, finances... Gah!

My writing muse needs to a round or two in obedience school. The little bugger worked out my new fic, almost perfectly, but the second I sit down to work on it, he goes on a holiday. He comes back when I go to bed, of course, and fills my head with all sorts of great lines. Is it illegal to flog muses?
12/08/02 at 718pm
Every once in a while you come across something on the 'net that just tickles you the right way. For me tonight it was some online radio thing called LaunchCast. Many genre's to select from including the one I'm listening to now - DISCO! Ya, I know this can be cured with a shot (to the head with a gun) but as I tell hubby - bite me. I like bits of almost everything.

Semi-productive weekend. Finally finished my fic, Love in the Darkness, and started on another. Whether the new one works or not I'm not sure yet, but my muse insisted on trying. One does not ignore the muse.

A large chunk of the Xmas gifts are done. All the kids, except my nieces and nephew, are now done. Trafalga & his sis are done and mearly await boxing and a trip to the PO. Hubby is fairly easy with his bottle of Scotch request.

I'm pretty much convinced my brother-in-law (hubby's side) is lacking in the brains department. He passed a message along through my mother-in-law for us to call him, saying he can't get hold of us on the phone. What? Unless he's calling at ten in the morning that makes no sense. Someone is home starting early afternoon and for nearly a month I've been awake until at least nine in the evening (in bed, but still awake). Turns out he called our phone number and left a message for hubby or I to call him back. Um... rather difficult to leave a message when there's no freaking answering machine, wouldn't you say? If it was me, I'd have tried the number again after a few days of no response, maybe grabbed a phone book and double checked I was dialing the right number. Come on, how brainless can one person be? Mentioned all this to hubby and he said something along the lines of he'd expect that sort of thing from his sister, not his brother - but he stands corrected. Get the impression hubby doesn't have much use for his siblings? I don't either.

*giggle* found the '80's pop station. Think I'll stay here while I work on site stuff.
12/04/02 at 949pm
Merry fucking Ho Ho. I hate buying Xmas decorations, almost as much as I hate putting them up. But, the office had to look suitably 'seasonal'... and now it does. Blech.
12/02/02 at 933pm
Well, managed to watch the Gatchaman DVD. Dear god... Penny is my most favorite person. Seeing Gatchaman again was... christ, powerful is about as close as I can come to describing the mess of feelings and emotions that shot through me. Gatchaman will always have a place in my heart, always.

Very busy and expensive weekend just passed. Hit the DVD warehouse and blew probably too much money (anime stuff can be a tad pricey) and grocery shopping was more than expensive. It's funny, now, to realize how much money we were saving by me not eating much. So much for that.

Being pregnant has led to an explosion in plot-bunnies. Jeezu! I can hardly find time or the concentration to write the one fic I need to and I've got a fucking herd of PB's running through my head! Two of the PB's show promise and I've got them just about worked out... don't ask about writing them down. I gotta do it though, before the plots totally disappear.

Any writer who has been plagiarized will probably tell you how foul it is to see their hard work being claimed as another's. Thankfully, I've never experienced that but a number of well-read GW writers have. The latest one to be ripped off is Blue Soaring and the person who did really is an idiot. Okay, anyone who steals popular fics is technically a total moron (they're popular for a reason, meaning lots of people have read the fic - do you honestly think no one will notice??). Others can rant better than I can on this subject, so I'll leave it to them.

What really got me about this idiot was her web site. Not content with stealing fanfiction from people, she (and yes, it is a she) has directly ripped off other web sites. The fanfiction page is a mish-mash of pieces taken directly from three web sites I can identify on sight alone. And some pages have been lifted whole from other places.

I have no problem with grabbing html from other places so it can be picked apart, figured out, modified and used. Hell, that's how I learned to write html code in the first place. But to cut/paste code, use it unaltered and claim it as your own... Beginning code writers I can cut a little slack, but most people do not write html code by hand anymore. There are dozens of programs and online builders that do the job. There's no excuse for stealing code if those are used. Ah well, this idiot is going to get what's coming to her. By now the PPP have been alerted and FF.N and I'll be notifying MSN (there has got to be a TOS violation in there somewhere) in a day or two.

Finally figured out Xmas gifts for a couple people. I am really bad with matching person to gift, really bad. And I probably chose wrong for Trafalga, but fuck it. He's introduced me to lots of stuff (and I him) and I do believe it's my turn to show something newish. Nothing drastic, just some music, stuff similar to what he hooked me onto years ago. Which reminds me, I really need to get off my ass and burn the damn CD tonight.