Where the Sane Should Fear to Tread

Therapy Sessions on File


10/30/02 at 940am
I'm reduced to doing 'net related things from work. And we're busy, so not much is getting done. I go home at night and fall asleep almost before I'm done dinner. I haven't touched my computer at home for what feels like forever. I'm told this is normal - I hate normal.

The Halloween candy has been defiled. Tasted great though *grin*. My neighbours should have a kick-ass set-up this year. So far there's a couple 'dead bodies', three giant furry spiders, one flying bat and an assortment of blood covered objects. I love the elder son - he's so warped and cool!
10/27/02 at 740pm
I hate being so tired. I've slept twelve of the last twenty-four hours, and I could easily sleep more. At least the nausea is minimal today.

Work starts up again tomorrow. No more sleeping until eight, not when I have to make a six-thirty train into town. Ugh. It's been over a week since I've had to drag my ass up that early. And I just know it'll be busy tomorrow. Wonder if the boss would mind if I napped at my desk. Wonder if I'll have time to even consider it.

As pathetic as this sounds, I'm off to bed... right after I call my sis. Today is her due date, and so far I've had no 'I'm in labor' call.
10/27/02 at 1135am
AMV's rock... and I'm addicted to them. If anyone hasn't heard of this site => AnimeMusicVideo's then run there now! I have got to upgrade one of my machines and learn how to make AMV's.
10/26/02 at 1238pm
I hate unpacking. Really, really hate it. But if I want clean underwear, it's gotta get done. Blech!

Front porch is decorated for Halloween. Pumpkin lights and cobwebs are up, the skeleton, spider and large cat/pumpkin thing will be added Halloween night. Candy is bought and I don't forsee myself breaking into it before Thursday night. We'll see though... there's O'Henry bars in one of the bags...
10/24/02 at 1103pm
Ugh! I'm home. Been home for about twenty-four hours... and never been more happy to get here.

I hate Florida (apologies to Floridians, I mean no offence). It's too hot and too far. Any place it takes twelve hours to travel to and return from is not someplace I want to go. I do not do well in heat - the brief summers the LM gets nearly do me in - and my poor body is used to October being cold... not eighty plus degrees.

On the plus side, I passed all the exams and learned some interesting stuff. I knew what retinalblastoma was before, but now I know more. And, frankly, it scares the shit out of me. More on why later.

HD was there with her father, and I can't express in words how happy I was to see her. These seminar things are the only chance I get to see her - HD being on the East Coast, while I reside on the West Coast. Without her, meetings suck. HD, I love you girlfriend.

The impossible has happened. I'm preggers. It may still decide to depart - like the other three did last year - but I'm not having the same symptoms as I was last time. Do I want this? Yes and no. Talking to my sister - who is very preggers herself - helped a lot. She knows where my head is (sort of) and she is a voice of reason when I start to lose sight of things.

Time will tell I guess. I'm only five weeks along, and I lost the first one at seven weeks. If it's still holding by Xmas, I'll break the news to the rest of the family. Christ, my mother will go nuts. One of us might have to be committed. Thank the heavens hubby knows how to run interference between mom and me.

A week away, and I'm woefully behind on fics and the GW site. Some work got done on the site, and I managed to read two fics. Oh, and one of my favorite authors asked if I'd be interested in archiving her GW fic... and her WK fics. HOLY SHIT! Am I excited? You bet your ass! This will probably get me off my lazy ass and work on the WK side of the Sanctuary. It really needs help... or a bomb dropped on it.

Idly checking certain sites...

Brutal Honesty - nothing new. In fact, there's been nothing since the beginning of September. Are they dead?

The Shredder - same thing, nothing new. Dead as well?

Tracker for my site... 95 hits today alone, and the day isn't done yet. Pardon me while I do a little dance. And to think I nearly trashed the site a year and a bit ago. Alexi, if you read this, thanks again.

Temple of Lunacy - Anria's got some new pics up. Nice droolable ones. YUM!

There's a ton more links I wanted to check today, but sleep pulled me away. As it's starting to do now. Between travel and the other situation, I'm exhausted. Night night!
10/16/02 at 1009pm
Twenty-eight hours before I leave the house, and I have four things packed. A bathing suit, my cervical pillow, a stick of Secret, and a new bottle of vitamins. Yeah, I'm soooo organized. Maybe I should just attend the meetings naked.

I'm taking three fics with me to work on. Last year's trip, to New Orleans, I managed to get the (then) current fic finished and I'm hoping to do it again with one of these three. Don't know how much free time there will be this time. Depends how much time I get to spend in whatever bar is handiest. For some reason, I turn into a lush at these meetings. As long as I pass the exams, who cares.

My lower back is killing me. Sitting is a lovely experience in pain, standing and walking is better, but I'm too tired to do it for long. So far, there are three potential reasons for this: 1) I pulled a muscle/screwed up my alignment, 2) something is finally arriving, or 3) something I don't want to think about, and thought was impossible, has happened. None of these makes my day.
10/15/02 at 938pm
A summary should entice people to read your story - yes or no? I've always assumed the former. I might, however, be wrong.

Some random samplings from FF.N tonight:

"A sequal to..." - it's SEQUEL.
"surpressed feelings..." - SUPRESSED.
"...sense of balence..." - BALANCE.
"wut would happen if ur wish actually came tru..." - what would happen to my eyesight if I actually read this?
"The Littel Zero..." - could the author possibly mean LITTLE?

Spelling errors in the summary are a turn off, second only to spelling errors in the title. Those are the single, biggest turn-off.

My number one, word-specific piss-off is this one: YAIO. I know what it's supposed to say but, damn it, if an author can't spell that right... oh I give up.

"Um...I can't do summaries..." - which becomes really obvious with this author's next words - "it's really wierd and it's meant to be something to do with Duo so... kinda fuzzy at the moment but I think it'll start making sense later..." - so, does the author know where her/his story is going? Or did she/he simply barf some words onto the paper/screen/keyboard?

"I wrote this while on the toilet,..." - oh, I so wanted to know that and it really encourages me to read this fic... NOT!

"NO FLAMES" - *snort*, sorry that just really, really encourages me to flame the shit out of an author.

"This has been up for 4 days and noone has given me a review." - that should tell you something about the fic. To be nicer though, on FF.N there are so many fics coming in on a daily basis, it's easy for some to slip through potential reader's fingers - "Maybe it's the summary." - trust me, the summary is, in this case, the best part of this particular fic.

"Uhhh.....Don't know really...just read please!" - Uhhh.... not a chance.

"This will most likely not be finished because of..." - why has this fic been posted then?

That's enough bitching for one night. I still haven't started thinking about what to pack for the FLA trip yet and somehow I must accommodate two hundred and fifty educational pamphlets in my suitcase. Oh, and two dozen booklets. Right...
10/14/02 at 1114pm
I've seen a fair number of porn films in my lifetime. Some good (I kid not, one had a plot and was a riot) and some bad (really bad). Until today, I seriously thought I'd seen some of the worst porn available. I was wrong. Horribly, laughably, wrong.

A few weeks ago, I stumbled onto a review of a rather infamous piece of hentai anime. I do not remember where, nor can I find the damn site again. But I had to find the piece that was being talked about - Sailor Moon and the Seven Balls.

Oh. My. Fucking. God. I have never seen anything so bad. Bad graphics, bad lines, bad plot (oh wait, was there one?), bad... everything. Not bad 'turn that shit off' but bad 'I fell out of my chair from laughing'. Who dreamt this movie up? Where did they find so many out-of-work, low-grade artists (voice and graphical)? And where the hell do I begin describing it?

*ponders the movie* Apart from saying it's one giant fuck-fest, I can't. There is no way I could possibly give an adequate summary of this movie (I will find the original review at some point and post the link). I can, however, share a few of the images that sent me into gales of laughter.

Is it just me, or is there just a tad too much ejaculate here? In all my years and all my experiences, I have never observed a man blowing that much of a load. It looks like, what? About a cup's worth? Hahahahahaha. I know real-life porn stars who would pay to be able to come that much at once.

But wait, it's not just once...
... it's over and over. Enough to cover a wall. All this from a single 'wank the willy' session. I'm impressed, awed... scared!

I'll be back to this movie in later entries. I can't type and laugh like this.
10/13/02 at 1210am
I'd like nothing better right now than to throw a big fit. BOTH major fan fiction archives are down; one undergoing 'upgrades' the other either maintenance or capacity problems. The annoyance factor is off the scale right now.

Saw a great movie tonight - Spirited Away. Fabulous, enchanting, captivating, these words do not begin to describe it properly. It's a movie that must be seen. There was a lot of symbolism and stuff in it, so I know I missed stuff. As soon as a DVD is released, I'm buying it. In the meantime, I'll be playing the trailer until my computer barfs. Oh! There's a second trailer available at Disney's site. There's a bunch of clips available too. The Official site, though in French, is fun. Lots to see and do... and if you can read French, I'm sure it's even better!

The dubbed version - there is a subtitled one out there somewhere I'm told - was done in co-operation with Disney. Yup, the land of the mouse stuck their fingers in the anime pie. At first, I shuddered to think what they'd do an anime (I've not seen any other Disney-involved anime's) but, what the hell. It's only nine dollars. They didn't fuck up, in my opinion. The voices were great and the movie retained what I call the 'anime feel'. There is an excellent review of the movie by someone who has seen the subbed original and the Disney-released one.

I'm tired of waiting in 50+ queues for things on WinMX. I understand, and I've watched my own queue hit 75 a couple nights, but I grow weary of it. A friend who runs both WinMX and Kazaa said the wait time on the latter is significantly less. I know it's full of spy-ware and WinMX is a lot better in terms of selection, but I'm going to reload Kazaa again. Really, if you discount the spy-ware feature Kazaa is a decent p2p program.

I signed up for one of those online journal things. UJournal is still free and doesn't require a referral like Live Journal or Dead Journal. Whether I use it or not is another matter. I don't care if anyone reads my personal ramblings/rants - there's been two visits to this section, that I know of - so I'm still debating if I should go 'more public'.

It's Thanksgiving time in the Great White North, Monday to be exact. Family dinner at the house, minus the niece and nephew, on Sunday. Which means I should probably not still be up on the computer. Plus, the cat is not being subtle with her reminders it is past 'our' bedtime.
10/07/02 at 1052pm
I have got to get better organized in terms of what files are stored on what computer. Once again, I am relegated to the backup machine at home. Why? Because the main one is busy burning. Discs, not itself. All the files I get are transfered the main machine, burned, then redistributed to the server. Stupid, absolutely stupid. If they're gonna end up on the server then they should be burned right from there. Christ, I am such an idiot sometimes.

A loverly little last minute frenzy has gripped the office. Boss-man in particular. He's leaving Wednesday (yippee!) and I swear he's having a mini melt-down making sure he's got everything. Thing is, if he remembers he forgot something he can call, and L and I can bring it with us; we're leaving a week and two days after him. Sheesh, take a valium already.

Boss-man isn't the only one doing a melt-down. I'm working myself into a fabulous nervous fit. I love travelling, but hate the the unknown. And this trip is a venture straight into the unknown. Two airports I've never been through before, a person I've never travelled with before, and no one to guide me. Trust me, I need a guide... and a keeper on my best days. L is level headed though, and a helluva lot more observant that I am so everything will probably be fine. Right... need to work on the ol' self-confidence again.

And since I'm not on the main machine, this hasn't been spell-checked. I've done my best - without aid of a dictionary since I moved it when I cleaned in here - but I'm sure there's something spelled wrong. *snorts* like I really care right now.
10/06/02 at 1101pm
It's been another do-nothing weekend. Apart from minor housework and a trip out to the chiro and my sis, I've been living on the computer again.

Having installed the new DivX codec a few nights back, I discovered it ate the older versions thus rendering half my videos inoperable. Trying to find the disc with the old versions was a nightmare, but at least I was forced to clean up this pig-sty a bit. Also forced me to go through all my unlabelled discs and write down what I do have.

But codec issues did not stop there. A previously working vid went tits up and would only render a grey image where the picture should be. Sound worked fine, but video crapped right out. According to my system, I had the codec installed. Uhuh, so why wasn't WMP recognizing it? After playing around for two hours, having no clue what I was doing or what kind of damage I was inflicting, it finally worked. I have no idea why, what I did, or if it's repeatable.

Nearly a year after the new hard drive was installed, I decided it might be time to defrag it. Sixty gig drive, with just under twenty gig free - shouldn't take that long, right? Couple hours? HA! The main computer was essentially offline for Saturday. If I'd been smart, I'd have pulled of things I wanted to work on (like fics) but I wasn't (big surprise). With nothing but time on my hands Saturday night, and a sleeping hubby that precludes doing anything too noisy, I ventured into the WinMX chat rooms.

It's been a very long time since I talked to anyone other than Trafalga and Heike in a chat room of any kind. The saying, 'the more things change, the more they stay the same' still holds true. I must have been hit on forty times, some rather blatantly ('wanna suck my dick' was one sweet pick-up line). There were some very nice people and I had a riot talking to them. And WinMX has a wonderful ignore function - blocks idiots like a charm.

The latest hunt online is for cartoon themes. Anyone besides me remember a cartoon called Groovie Ghoulies? I lived for that cartoon when I was young. Found a site with the lyrics, but no sound file. And no one on WinMX has it so far. This is annoying - I can hear the song in my head and I just know it'll stay there until I find the song or an episode.

A casual suggestion sparked Anria to set herself up with a Blog (click here). The woman is a riot and totally speaks her mind so this should be fun. Might have to go more formal myself... or maybe not.
10/03/02 at 949pm
Found a cute game tonight. Won a prize too, though it wasn't that difficult. It was the cuteness and the anime that I enjoyed.

It's been an interesting and in some ways, frustrating day. My boss in charge of the Joint lecture session between the ASO and the AAO at this years meeting. We thought we had a major disaster on our hands when two of our lecturers said they hadn't received the Speaker's Package. That's the pack that contains where you're supposed to go prior to the lecture session to ensure all the a/v material are ready, and the time you're talk is. I spent an hour cruising the AAO's web site trying to find the info (since that's where our AAO contact said the info was). Nada, nothing there besides an outline. Turns out, the info had been received by each of our lecturers, but either they failed to read the letter entirely, or they'd misplaced it. Faxed the info to everyone just to be safe. Postpone one heart-attack.

Next, information for our Journal was delayed and what we did get was incomplete. The picture is bad, and our editor didn't think it would show up very well. Finding a new picture on really short notice is impossible, and the text info wasn't typed out and that would take extra time the printer doesn't have. Article has been delayed until next year.

Picked up a book on PS 5.5 last week. Figure it's about time I learn more than the very basics. It came with a CD for use with all the lessons therein. Pulled it out, plopped it in the drive and watched the computer spaz out. The disc looked fine, until I flipped it over. There's a big ol' crack running the entire width of the CD and it doesn't show from the front. Gonna raise holy hell if the book store doesn't exchange it.

Posted the next part of my fic last night... complete with all my writing notes. Shit. I never even checked it before hitting 'send'. I'd like to crawl under a rock. Oh well, can't do anything about it so I shouldn't dwell on it. Right? Hahahaha.

Something strange happening at FF.N. Random stories and authors are coming up 'not found'. It looks like just R rated stories are affected, but not all of them. There's no pattern to it, and no explanation on the site. Have they been hacked? Is Xing removing stuff and for what reason? It's so annoying.