Where the Sane Should Fear to Tread

Therapy Sessions on File


May

05/26/02
It's time to play 'what picks my ass'. The topic tonight is leeches. Not the little icky things that live in lakes and streams (and are still used today for medical purposes) but the big ol' morons on p2p programs like Morpheus and WinMX.

Maybe I don't grasp the purpose behind p2p, but I thought the purpose was sharing. I'm sure we all know what sharing is by now; I get from you, you get from me. It's simple, efficient, and satisfying. But some users - and that's what they are! - see no need to share anything. They want to take and not give back anything. Anyone else disgusted with that?

It takes no time, and very little effort, to make an mp3 file. Make a few, toss 'em in a shared directory and log-in. I don't care if you have nothing I want, but as long as you are sharing, my files are yours for the taking. But share nothing and I'll smack you outta the queue. Is that wrong? Rude? Tough shit. Why should these leeches get priority over someone who's willing to share their files? And I don't believe for a second, that someone who has been logged in for 43 hours cannot have downloaded something, anything.

It's late and I'm grumpy... okay, well past grumpy heading towards pissed, and my head is not working right. Coherent thought (logic too) goes out the window when I'm tired. Night-night!
05/25/02
Looks like the new roof will be started soon. At least, that's my assumption given there's a bunch of stuff sitting on the roof right now. Pity there'll be no hot tar smell - I love the stuff - but this torch-down material should last a lot longer than a tar-and-gravel style roof. Thank god!

Finally got the new WinMX running right. I hate mapping ports and reconfiguring firewalls. The new version, 3.x, is soooo much better than the old one I was using. The multi-source downloading is a godsend, and the search function is slick. Only drawback is it doesn't save unstarted downloads like Kazaa does. Nothing is perfect {grin}.

The dishwasher may be on its last legs. The appliance came with the house, and it was ancient then. We do have another dishwasher - a convertible portable from our apartment - but it's been sitting for two-and-a-half years so who knows if it'll still work. Also, some minor remodeling is required to stuff it where the old one is now. Cabinet work is so not on my list of favorite things.

Bit the bullet and got Yahoo!Messenger... much to my girlfriend's delight. She's been after me for months to install it since her 'puter just doesn't like ICQ. Nice program, easy to use, and the IMVironments are neat. In a complete WFT moment, I stuck an online/ offline thing for it in the GW section menu. LOL - does anyone use those things???

Murphy was asleep the other day - the DVD drive installed with a hitch in the other 'puter. Normally, whenever I crack the case on the backup machine, something fucks up. First it was the hard drive (scrambled it totally), then the sound card (drivers disappeared and it magically switched IRQ ports), then the network card (it does exist, I swear!). Installing a new drive is see spot run stuff, but I was still surprised when it worked. So when there's nothing on TV worth watching - a situation that's becoming more and more common - I can watch a movie without leaving the 'puter. "Heaven, I'm in Heaven...." One day, a day that's very faaaar down the road I'm afraid, I'll get a second DVD player and hook it into the main 'puter. That way, I can run everything through the capture card and really have some fun.

Hubby has requested a CD for his upcoming fishing trip. He's specifically looking for George Carlin stuff. We spent hours going through the LP collection (don't have any on CD's yet), picking out the specific tracks he wants and then digitizing them. Took me a few tries to get the recording volume levels right, but the final recordings sound good. Maybe while he's away, I'll work on digitizing the rest of the LP's.... right, sure.... I'll just add that chore to the thousand others I'm planning on doing.
05/17/02
It's definite, I need my head examined. So far, the latest update on a section of the Sanctuary is at eight hours... and counting. Which part? The GRP; that fucking labor-intensive son-of-a-bitch. I love that section - it was the second site I cobbled together way back in 1996 - but jezzu, is it a lot of work.

Yeah yeah, so why bother, right? Because people actually use the damn thing! Shit, you could have knocked me over with a feather when I found out people not only used it, but it was missed when the hosting site I used had up and died. Something I created was missed! And it's now a part of the greeting message for new users to the BotP ML.

Though I don't hear from many (hell, most) of the visitors to the site, the occasional note dropped my way makes the effort to maintain the GRP worthwhile. When I started looking for Gatch stuff, fansubs mainly, it took me weeks to find stuff. If I can help one person avoid the frustrations I went through, then the work pays off as far as I'm concerned. And most newcomers to the Gatch world have tons more merchandise available to them now. It's Gatch's 30th anniversary this year and the merchandise available to celebrate that fact is incredible. If I had the money, I'd be drowning in Gatch toys, shirts, DVD's, etc. Thank god I have a friend in the comic business or I wouldn't have the few DVD's I do.

Seriously need the boss to get back from his vacation - yesterday! The boredom level has reached previously unrecorded heights. Yesterday's entertainment was blowing up a rubber glove and playing volleyball with it. Today, we drew a face on it and taped it the front counter where it watched over me. Car watching/counting has become a daily past time. Of course, once the boss gets back it'll be nuts in the office. Bookings have still been coming in and the schedule is pretty much full until the middle of June. Playing the odds, the rest of June will fill up this next week. I swear people know when the boss is out of town and they wait until he's back before phoning. And then get pissed off when they can't get in right away. Ah, the joys of working with the public.
05/12/02
Bored. Bored and feeling incredibly lazy about sums up the state I've been in lately. No idea why, no idea how to kick-start myself back to work. This sucks!

It's not like there's nothing to do either. Have tons of web-work piling up, this pig-sty of a room I spend time in at home needs to be tidied up... and a thousand other little things are all but begging for attention. And I just don't care.

This has all the signs of depression setting in again - it's something I've been battling all my life. But I don't _feel_ depressed. Of course, that's nothing new and has, in the past, been yet another sign the blackness is on its way. Need to nip this in the bud while I still can.

It doesn't help that work is really, really slow right now. I swear, when the boss goes out of town an invisible signal is transmitted. No one calls, no one drops in... the place just _dies_. We try and try to not rush things like cleaning the lab, filing, data entry, but you can only move so slow and there's only so much 'make-busy' work. There's another six days of this on the horizon - gawd help me.

Yard work has started in earnest. Last week, hubby dragged me down to the local hardware/garden store to help pay for the needed supplies and see the stuff before it was bought. I may not care much about the yard stuff, but I do care how it looks... and how much it costs! I think the salesperson standing near us was ready to call a marriage counselor or a cop. Our 'spat', while quiet in nature nearly resulted in one of us being beaned with a brick. With nearly a $100 difference between the two fancy-faced bricks - needed for the retaining wall - I thought it was ridiculous to spend the extra money when one of the sets would do the job and actually looked better! Stupid thing to argue over and we've now agreed to not spend large sums when we're both tired from work.

Saturday saw the annual May-Days celebration in my suburb. It resulted in the usual nightmare for getting around town. The parade runs along the two main streets around here - one of which we live right beside. From 10:30 to 3:00 you can pretty much forget getting in our out of our house by car. All the roads are blocked off, or diverted, and crowds line the street. Really, it's nice but it is a pain-in-the-ass if you have to get somewhere. As it was girls-lunch day, I had to get somewhere. Like across the highway. Good thing it was a nice day - walking that distance in the rain would have sucked big time.

The same evening was also couples-dinner night. The object is to try new places, food we wouldn't normally try on our own. The place decided on this month sounded interesting - flaming Portuguese chickens - and all four of us were looking forward to it. The 'restaurant' was a cross between a fast-food outlet and a casual diner. Oookay, not what we expected, but maybe the food would be worthwhile. Nope. It was all right but nothing special, nothing worth repeating.

Dessert was to be at another place, one our dining couple had been to before and insisted we had to try the Chocolate Eruption cake. Sounded good to hubby and I! Unfortunately, the highway was still jammed.

Earlier, when we'd left home for dinner, the traffic was horrific. A closure at a major exchange meant all the cars were diverted to the secondary route - the route we normally use. It took 20 minutes to make a 10 minute trip. Going to the other restaurant - a 7 minute trip normally - would have taken 30 had we stuck to the highway.

The back route we took was interesting. A lot of new subdivisions have gone in, and while the houses have that cookie-cutter look, the area was beautiful. I still can't believe the amount of building that's taken place in that area. We moved out here two-and-a-half years ago, and that area was barren - just a Costco store plopped down in the middle of the dirt. Now... restaurants, boutiques, housing... wow!

A fic from hell is consuming my life. Now that I think of it, the difficulty I'm having with it may account for part of my lack of enthusiasm for other things. The story in my head refuses to transmit itself to my fingers in more than one or two sentences at a crack. It's incredibly frustrating and there's been many nights I've wanted to beat the shit out of myself or the 'puter. Despite relieving tension and anger, neither option would accomplish much in the long run. I'm in awe of people who can produce well thought out, detailed fics on a regular basis. And writing two or more at the same time... those people should be bronzed!

Speaking of fics, I found a new Yahoo group this week - ficsnobs. The purpose is to give long time readers and writers of fanfic a place to blow off steam about some of the crap that's out there. Reading through the messages posted has been enlightening and educational. As a newbie writer (I haven't done much creative writing since high school - many, many years ago) reading what veteran writers find appalling and annoying has helped me see errors I tend to make, or was thinking of making.

At some point, I expect flaming will occur since folks on ficsnobs don't hold back. Nor should they. So many reviewers say only good things out of fear they'll be flamed by the author and that's not right. Granted, calling a fic bad without saying _why_ is a black mark on the reviewer too, but writers in the fandoms I'm interested in seem to take constructive criticism far too personally. If I make a mistake - grammar, plot holes, bad characterization - I want to know! How can you get better if no one tells you where you go wrong? I hope to learn a lot from the folks on ficsnobs and, if I can find the guts, participate a bit. Don't bother placing bets on that - terminal shyness has plagued me all my life.

Think I'll give the hell-fic one more shot today... maybe it'll be done sometime this century!
05/02/02
Sheesh, almost a month since the last post. Lazy, lazy, lazy... no inspiration to do much at all.

Why is it men (not all, just the ones in my life it seems) want a perfect lawn? And why do not understand their partner's lack of enthusiasm for the lawn? Personally, I'd like to dig all that high maintenance green crap up and replace it with a rock garden... or pave it. But nooooo. Instead, I got to spend a very large chunk of my Saturday lifting heavy lawn tools (aerators are a bitch!) and buying expensive lawn-helping compounds.

After being dragged from a nice cozy bed - with the words, "the aerator is rented by the hour, get up - the day got steadily worse. First, it was the aerator, then the thatcher, then raking all the shit up (the most despised of all jobs), then hefting bags of stinky chemicals through the yard so the lawn will look and feel soft beneath our feet. Pardon me while I puke.

I got a partial revenge though - made hubby help me clean the garage out. Shitty, shitty job, one I've put off for way too long. I'll get more revenge when he find out he's paying for a trip to the masseuse. I think an hour with her should set him straight about my love of lawn work.

Is there a twelve-step program for cats? One of the meowing balls of fur has developed a severe addiction to being brushed. Every twenty minutes, she comes into the 'puter room (or whatever room I'm in), meows her head off, paws at me, and at the slightest indication I might stand up, she gallops - she sounds like a herd of horses - to the bathroom and stands by her brush. If she could get the thing in her mouth, I'm positive she'd bring it to me. The minimum acceptable brushing time is five minutes; less and the harassment for more starts sooner.

Boss-man - not the hubby - is going away for two weeks, which means work has been nutty. Probably explains my lack of energy when I get home. Of course, that also means everyone wants to get in and see him before he goes. And those that can't get in are pissed. There's only so many hours in a day and he's only one man! Believe it or not, he does have a life outside of work and does not enjoy working twelve hours a day. Just because there's no M.D. after his name, people think he does nothing but sit around with his thumb where the sun don't shine.

Now... if I can find the energy, there's a kitchen that needs cleaning and a fic (or three) that need some attention.